This day was quite special to me. Another year came with some new roller coaster tracks and I think it’s not a bad to idea to write a little bit about it.

I have survived 29 years which are loaded with many amazing moments and also aweful phases, so it’s quite pleasing to know that I’ve made this far. This writing is not only about my special birthday moments. For me, it’s important to look back in order to learn.

The last year was insanely heavy, but surprisingly uplifting. It was a year of “rethinking”, a year of “slowing down” and a year of “healing” (I’m getting spiritual right now). It was a year when I just needed to take a lot of time for myself.

After my 28th birthday, I realized that I’ve done many things to get people’s attention in order to be happy. I played a role of someone people want to see and also tried to be friend with everyone, even this actually isn’t my way of living. In short: I rejected myself to be loved. Years ago, some of my very great friends suggested me to take distances from unhealthy people and even from the metal scenes. They said „You really deserve to be with better people“. I smiled about that for a long time. I didn’t think it would be possible for me as a live music photographer. Not that they were against metalheads. In fact: They actually are successful metal musicians and important personalities in the metal music business. They just didn’t think these scenes would be healthy for me.

At the end of 2017, I decided to detach myself from the social life and learned to accept my introvert beeing. My life has changed since then. Although I have spent way more time with my design projects, music discovery, beautiful Tarot decks and books than with people, I somehow have become happy. Do I miss all those people? No. Not at all.

The 29th birthday


Lately, I really was focused on working and getting many things done, so I didn’t plan anything for my birthday. I actually didn’t care about it that much. However, it turned out that my boyfriend was the one who made my day(s) quite amazing.

This special treat already started at Saturday night, the 24th November, when he mixed the cocktail “Swimming Pool” for me. My daughter visited me this weekend, so we didn’t got chance to celebrate that much. In the morning, my boyfriend surprised me with a special breakfast to die for. Guys and girls, I think I’ve eaten more than the last 5 months. It was an exquisite breakfast.

As some of you know me, I do not prefer going out and meeting people that much, expecially on a sunday, so we’ve spent the whole day playing Shadow Of The Tomb Raider and Civilization 6: Rise and Fall – which was just perfect. And before I even got hungry again, my boyfriend cooked phenomenal steaks for me, followed by some desserts.

Yep, I cleary eat too much this weekend.

At the evening of the 26th November (my birthday!), I visited a running sushi restaurant with my boyfriend as if I haven’t eaten enough already during the last days. But hey, it was my birthday and everyone should break rules on his birthday. I do regret it. The food was amazing though.

Before the day has ended, my boyfriend gave me a witchy birthday gift: The Marigold Tarot. Oh my gawd, I love it! The Marigold Tarot is created by an Indian artist Amrit Brar. It’s a beautiful deck full of detailed illustration, which are printed in gold on black linen paper. I quickly put it on my special Tarot decks-shelf (I have about 60 Tarot decks and 50 other oracle decks, so .. yes, there is a special shelf). Did I already mention that I absoluty love this deck?

The celebration


Talking about celebration. Yes, I celebrated alone with my boyfriend, but I also wanted to spend time with friends, so I decided to invite them two weeks after my birthday. We had dinner in my favourite Thai restaurant in the middle of Linz. The food was marvelous and I was really happy that my people enjoyed the dinner like I did. I loved that evening. There was only 5 people. We talked. We laughed. We ate wonderful Thai food. And the best thing? I got a present – and it’s the Vinyl “Lateralus” limited edition of my most loved band “Tool” which I have been longing for since I was 15! …. No words. This was one of the best moments my life.

Although I didn’t have a great celebration or did something extremely special, for me, my birthday was fabulous. In addition, it actually was this fabulous because my boyfriend did so many things to make me smile. If it wasn’t him, I think this day would become a day like any other for sure. This writing is a big “thank you” to him.

And for everyone else who wrote on my Facebook wall to congratulate me (including phone calls, messages and such), I also want to thank you all. You guys also made my birthday very special.

Yours truly,
Natts